Well, one of my dear friends informed me that she was tired of me being in a funk and I needed a new blog post, so here I am. :o)

Life is good. Things with B have been really good lately, like the old kid is back. I like that. Example: my parents were here a few weeks ago. B loves my parents, always has. He seems to enjoy spending time with them. On their last day, we all met for breakfast. B was really chatty and fun, even after we got home. I thanked him for always being so nice to my parents. Now, typically, this kid does not accept compliments well, but here's what happened: 1) he looked me in the eye; 2) he SMILED at me; and 3) he said, "You're welcome". Needless to say, I am STILL smiling about that one! :o)

BSF has started back as well as small group. Now, I know you will all be shocked to hear this, but here goes: THERE'S A PLAN! WHO KNEW!? I LOVE IT! The study of Romans and the reading of The Purpose Driven Life have amazingly run together. Over the past month since my last blog, God has really shown me some stuff about me, some of it not so pretty. He's brought amazing people into my life for me to share things with and to give me some great advice. And then there's this preacher...Convicting and life-changing....The one thing that always worries me is that I'm going to forget after a while and go back to my selfish ways. Hold me accountable, OK?

I've been in a funk lately. Not really sure why, but tired of it. Funkiness happens, but for me, it doesn't typically last this long.

I went to the counselor today. It helped; as did time with friends last week. That's the funny thing: I was feeling friendless. I know, I know....but I was feeling it just the same. Anyway, life as a stepmom is much harder than I EVER anticipated! And I don't think I was totally unrealistic. One thing I DIDN'T anticipate at all was how much the ex-wife would be a part of our lives. Although, relatively speaking, this is a small part of our day to day lives, it permeates our WHOLE LIVES. It's like a dark cloud hanging over me. So, what I want to do is not let it permeate my whole life. I mean, I really have a great life.

I was reading Michelle's blog today and it really hit me. I have sought out every possible way to "fix" this and not spent time with, I mean REALLY SPEND time with, my Creator. And these words of wisdom from such a young one! :o) Boy, have I got a lot to learn!

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I traveled to Texas to see some dear friends and grew closer to another friend in the process. The day after I got home, my in-laws came for a visit. We had a fun time! The day after that, I learned that my grandfather died. Even though it wasn't totally a surprise, it still caught me off guard. That was on Saturday, July 29. So on Monday part of the in-laws left, and on Tuesday my mother-in-law left when we left for Iowa. It was a good trip, even though the circumstances weren't great. My husby got to meet my aunt and uncle from California and a cousin that he had never met. It was good to be together. And I have a cool story from the funeral.

My grandfather was a railroader for 38 years. During the service, I heard a train whistle. :o) I thought that was very cool and was talking to my parents and husby about it later, saying that I believe things like that are little hugs from God, letting us know that He is listening, that He is aware of what is going on. WELL, as I was saying that, WE HEARD A TRAIN WHISTLE! We all started laughing. It was like God was saying, "Amen, Sister!"

My stepson decided he was ready to come over on the weekends again, so he came last weekend. It went well; we hardly saw him! Of course, that is typical with a 16 year old.

I am finally getting excited for Workshop. I need to be: it will be here before we know it and there is LOTS to do!!!

I went to the lake this past weekend with some of my girlfriends from OKC. We had a great time: eating, laughing, talking, stamping, eating....It made me miss them. But it also made me so appreciate the life I have here: my awesome husband, my wonderful friends, my church family. I love that I don't have to choose one life over the other, but I can enjoy and be blessed by both.

I also learned something about myself this weekend. My husby has mentioned this before, but I actually noticed it this weekend. I often attempt to justify my opinion, rather than just sharing it and going on. I feel like I have to explain why I feel or think a certain thing. Interesting...I am going to be working on that one.

I think I may have discovered the problem between wanting to blog and not knowing what to blog and then never getting around to it.

I feel like a broken record.

Things are really hard at our house. I guess most houses with teenagers are probably not exactly pleasant. We have one that goes between two homes with VERY different values, rules, etc. That can't be easy. And he is also very used to running the show at one house. Since he doesn't have that "privilege" at our house, he is choosing not to come over. While there are good things associated with that, the fact that it is breaking my husband/his father's heart doesn't go over too well with me. Add to that the fact that I don't know how, nor is there probably even a way to help my husband as he deals with all of this.

So my heart is kind of heavy. And things sometimes feel hopeless. Yet I know they aren't because God is in control.

I think I may have figured out part of the reason for my lethargic-ness recently. Ever since BSF ended 2 weeks ago, I am embarrassed to say that the only time I have opened my Bible is at church. Hmmm...do you think that could have something to do with it?! (I'm a little slow sometimes!)

Pray for me to stay in the word!

P.S. This is one of those times where I want to blog but don't know where to go from here. :o)

I feel weary.

Two sweet ladies from our church died this week. And they weren't OLD ladies. They were my parents age.

Life with a teenager continues to be more than hard.

I just feel weary.

But today my husband and I are celebrating our THIRD wedding anniversary! Now THAT makes me SMILE!!! :o)

To all in blog land who have been praying for us: THANKS! We had a really great weekend with B. I was telling our parents that we hadn't seen this boy in a very long time! It was nice. Keep up the prayers: I know we have a long road ahead, but it's nice to see a glimmer of light. :o)

Just when I am feeling so disconnected, God speaks right up! I LOVE THAT! Yesterday's Bible class and sermon both spoke to right where I am lately. And then last night at small group, a very cool thing happened. Clint suggested that we bless our new house. So we divided up into three small groups and prayed over specific parts of our house. Some upstairs in B's room, some in the kitchen and some out front. At first, I was a little intimidated by this suggestion. But I went out front with Clint and Janet. We were standing there, praying, heads bowed. Janet prayed first and then me; Clint was going to close. I prayed for our neighbors, that we would be a light for Christ in this new place. As I was praying, some of our neighbors WALKED UP TO US and asked if we were the new neighbors!!! The three of us just looked at each other. We visited for about 10 minutes. It was very cool. I felt like God was saying: "Hey, Danna...I'm still here. Hang in there. I've got other plans for those other prayers you've been praying. I'm listening though...." It was so personal! Later, I said I didn't think I had ever had quite that quick of a response from God!

I've been feeling kind of funky lately and can't figure out how to get out of it. I hate feeling this way. I feel helpless and sometimes even hopeless, although I know I'm not. And I've been feeling disconnected. Disconnected from my husby at times, my friends, even God. UGH! I know we are supposed to learn things from the hard times, but sometimes it's just so.....well, HARD!

The changing of seasons....Fall is my favorite, followed closely by spring. I think it's the change from extreme weather to perfect! April 1st really feels like the beginning of spring, especially when the forecasted high is 80 degrees!! So, in honor, I have painted my toenails for the first time and have sandals on. Ahhh.....

For all of my prayer buddies out there, could you throw up a few extra for us this weekend? We are both dreading it and he's not even here yet! I hate that!! Weekends are certainly NOT for dreading!!!

On a brighter note, my favorite OKC restaurant opened in BA this week: Ted's Cafe Escondido! We went last night! YUMMO!

Do you ever sit at your computer, wanting to blog something but not sure what? That's how I feel right now. My mind is racing with so many things. I have so much more than I deserve. Materially, spiritually....the most awesome husband that I could ever ask for. It's all sort of overwhelming to me right at this moment.

Man, I love the Tulsa Workshop!! After the announcement last year about what this year was going to be, I was more than a little nervous, but I KNEW God would do great things in and through it. WOW! Did He ever! One of the many things that is sticking out in my mind, is that I, as a member of the church of Christ, want to be known for what I'm FOR, not what I'm against. It seems to be we have somehow swept this doctrine of unity under the carpet in exchange for things that don't really matter all that much. How sad....I am praying that this Workshop and others like it will be the beginning of a change and a striving for unity!

WOW! I didn't realize how long it had been since I blogged. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, just wondering how/if to say it and finding the time. It's hard to type when the computer is on the floor!

We got moved and our new house is starting to feel like home.

I had a meltdown this afternoon when I got home from church. I have no idea why. I mean, I could tell you what happened and what set me off, but why I got THAT upset, is TOTALLY beyond me. I wanted to call someone, but wasn't sure who would still like me after I told them what a freak I am. So here I am typing to no one and everyone that means so much to me, yet still afraid to confess. Hmmm....maybe that is my answer: I need to confess. But I'm still too scared. Maybe later....

It's a busy time at our house. We're moving next week so it looks like a tornado has blown through this place! I will be the first to admit I am not the world's best housekeeper, but I just can't stand this clutter! Oh well, it will be over soon.

God continues to reveal this plan of His to me. WHO KNEW?! I still can't believe how long it's taken me to get this, not that I really get it now, but I'm starting to and it's really exciting! And He's given me such wonderful sisters (and an incredible husband!) to share in this journey! THANKS GOD!!

I don't think it's a coincidence that God has chosen THIS time to make Himself more known to me. Being a stepmother is hard work. And you know what else? Being a stepmother of an almost 16 year old boy is even harder! I so want to be Jesus to him. And I so want to be an encouragement to his dad.

Excitement of the day: My husby and I were eating lunch at Hideaway Pizza today. I saw this guy come in and he looked really familiar. I kept looking at him, trying to figure out if it was someone I knew. GARTH BROOKS!!!! :D That was fun!

He's still working on me.....

I don't know why, but I continue to be AMAZED at how God works! (Of course, it would be a very sad thing if I were to stop being amazed at God!) Bible studies, conversations, blogs, etc. have all had a theme for me recently. In our Beth Moore study, I have been convicted of legalism in my life that I really had no idea was even there! I don't want to be a Pharisee!!! Today, the lesson talked about prejudice...even prejudice against other religious groups/denominations! WHAT! I'm a legalist AND prejudiced?! The "ironic" thing is we have been having all these discussions recently about personality types, etc and I just realized that this legalistic, Pharisaical thing is part of my personality! UGH! I've been thinking and wondering and working through what is to happen at Workshop this year. While I certainly don't agree with those who have chosen to boycott, I've had some struggles in my own heart about it too. All of these things seem to go together....But here's the GOOD NEWS! God is NOT finished with me! The way I think/feel/act WILL change if I continue to seek Him with ALL of my heart, soul, mind, strength! God loves me TOO MUCH to leave me where I am! WHOO-HOO! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I am totally stealing this from Mike Cope and I know Carrie mentioned it recently too, but I love the question and the memories it brings flooding! (As I read the comments on Mike Cope's blog, I had tears in my eyes!)

So...

"I want worship to be directed to God and to express the thoughts of the whole community of faith. BUT, if I got to pick my favorite three worship songs to sing this Sunday morning, they would be . . . ."

Finish the sentence. I'll give you mine later.

New Year, New Me?

Well, my blog sisters, along with the conviction of the Holy Spirit, have inspired me to put in writing some New Year's resolutions. :o)

1) Spend time in God's word every day. Life is so much better when I do this, but I so often get "busy" and leave Him out.

2) Spend more time in prayer.

3) Be more selfless in my marriage.

4) Have a better attitude, a positive one, about my stepson.

5) Take more time to cultivate my friendships.

6) Lose 10 pounds.

7) Not beat myself up when I stumble. :o)

Thank you to my sweet friends who have encouraged me in ways they will never know completely!

A Rainbow on Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve. It's been a rainy, foggy Christmas Eve, just like the song. But there was something unexpected tonight. The sun was setting and it had actually come out after a very rainy day. When I saw the sun was out, I ran to the front door and looked to the east. There it was: a rainbow on Christmas Eve! I couldn't help but think of what the rainbow means to me-the reminder of God's faithful promises. And then it hit me: The ultimate symbol of promise-keeping on the eve of the day we remember God's ultimate promise fulfilled! What an AWESOME God we serve!!!!

It seems like I always start a new post with: "It's been a long time since I blogged...." but it always has. It's not that I don't think of blogging or don't want to, it's just that I so often wonder if I have anything good to say, like that is what a blog is for anyway! So I was sitting here reading Theresa's and Heather's blogs....I could have written both of them. (Heather, Julia did not call for me and sing so sweetly...it was your post previous to that one!) Last night my husband asked me if I was happy with my life. My answer: "Yeah, pretty much." So of course then he asked what I would change. I gave some answers that are totally non-changeable, but as I thought more about it, it hit me: I have this GREAT life! What is my deal?! OK, so I am reading Theresa and Heather's blogs and thinking: I am right there with you my sisters, my FRIENDS. So why do we let each other feel like this when we feel so deeply for each other???? It hurts my heart to know that one of my friends is feeling lonely or insecure. Yet, I am feeling the same. I am going to step out on a limb here and make an early New Year's resolution: to check in with my friends more, maybe ESPECIALLY when I am feeling blah. Hmmmm....that just might kill two birds with one stone!