Life has been a little tough in our world lately. This past Thursday was particularly rough and I was having a hard time getting to sleep. Growing up, my mom taught me to sing when I couldn't sleep. "Jesus Loves Me" has always been on the list, as it was this night. But another song came to mind, one of my favorite "old" songs, "Be with Me, Lord". It gave me peace and I finally fell asleep.

Yesterday, as the invitation was going on, Terry stopped and hugged Doug, telling him that he didn't know what was going on, but knew something was going on because of the look in his eyes. I was so touched by the exchange between Terry and Doug. As our friends surrounded us, the praise team started singing...."Be with Me, Lord". We NEVER sing that song! I just started bawling, KNOWING this was God telling me: "I heard you. I always hear you. And I'm right here." Our God is so personal! I felt more loved by God in that moment than I can even express! God is GOOD....ALL the time!

Where were you when...???

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Today marks the 15th anniversary of the OKC bombing. I was working at DHS, about 5 miles or so from the Murrah Building. Our desks were in the hall because they were putting new carpet in our work area. I remember feeling this movement and thinking it must be the machine they were using to smooth the floor before putting the carpet in. I looked up at the clock before going down to see a client: it was 9:02am.

When I went to reception, someone said there had been a bomb at the Federal Building downtown. I didn't think much of it because working for the government, bomb threats weren't exactly uncommon. I had no idea....

As the reports started coming in, there was a call for blood donors. This is one part of the day that I don't remember: I went to the Oklahoma Blood Institute with two girls I worked with but I cannot remember who. We got there and the line was around the block! There were people and emergency vehicles everywhere. We stood in line for about 45 minutes when they finally said they were only taking those with O- blood; only one of us had O neg blood so the other girl and I waited for her and then went back to our office. The building had been evacuated because of further threats. The only one there was a security guard. He told us to get our stuff and get out, if we weren't back in 5 minutes, he was coming after us. I ran up the stairs to my desk, grabbed my stuff and ran all the way to my car. I drove about 75 mph all the way to Edmond. I stopped to see my friend Donna before going home. When I got to her office, she just hugged me because she wasn't sure where my office was compared to the Murrah Building. It wasn't until then that I saw what had happened. It was unbelievable! It still is, 15 years later.

I couldn't stop watching. That night, I was to fly to NYC to meet my sister. It was so surreal to be in NYC watching the news and seeing YOUR town.

When I got home, I found out that I was going to be working at the Recovery Service Center for bombing victims with FEMA. I had done this before after a flood in 1993, so I thought it would be similar. We had no contact with the people we were helping. This wasn't the case this time. People came into the Recovery Service Center and we talked to them. When I first found out, I was scared to death! What would I say to these people? It was the most amazing experience I have ever had. It was so healing to talk to people, to listen, to hug them. It truly was a blessing.

I'll never forget that day.......

I was supposed to have lunch with a friend today but it got canceled when her kiddoes got sick. I met Doug at our favorite place, Qdoba. :o) He told me that B was going to join us. He is getting a new apartment, so was telling us all about it. It was a very fun lunch! So I'm driving down Memorial on my way to Target and my phone rings. It's B. He says he doesn't know what I have going this afternoon, but would I mind meeting him before 4 to see the apartment, he really wants me to see it. :o) I said what about now? I am two cars behind you. So we met at the new place and the lady took us to see it. It's very nice, much brighter and more open than his current place. As I drove on to Target, my eyes filled with tears at the sweet day God gave me. He's so good!!!

Well, here we are at the beginning of another new year. When you were a kid, did you ever think 2010 would really come?! WOW!

As I look back on 2009, there were some definite highs: we went on some fun trips, we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, a fun "new" Brandon appeared as he moved into his own apartment, wonderful new friendships.

As I anticipate 2010, I know there will be many blessings~that's just how God works! And I would venture to guess there will be some heartbreaks too.

I guess it's natural to think about "resolutions" this time of year. Most of mine are the usual: eat healthier, exercise more...But one tops the list this year and should have topped it EVERY year! I want to know God better. I have felt kind of like I am wandering lately. I want to spend more time with Him, to look for Him in the every day, to be more aware of Him.

"Do this Lord....or something better!"

Last Wednesday night we watched Rob Bell's video "Names". He talked about the names we call ourselves and the name God calls us. After the video, Jason had us right the names we call ourselves on T-shirts on a piece of paper and then the name God wants us to wear on the back. I left the back blank. Now almost a week later, it's still blank, but I have not stopped thinking about it. What does God want of me? Am I who He wants me to be? Am I who I want to be??

WOW! I can't believe how long it's been since I have blogged! It's not for lack of things to blog about, really, as much as things that shouldn't be blogged about. :D

I should be in Honduras right now with a group of friends from church. I am keeping up with what they are doing via a blog and pictures. I have cried every time I look at it. You see, I chickened out of going. I guess it's always easy to say, "Oh man! I should have gone!" once everyone is there and it's too late. I wonder why I am so afraid? If I would just DO things, I think I would realize my fears are mostly unfounded.

Anyway, I am so proud of my friends and what they are doing! Check it out:

http://web.me.com/eric.connell/Tulsa_Torch_Trip_2009/

It's been an emotional 10 days or so. My DEAR friends, Ron and Nan Deal lost their 12 year old son, Connor last Tuesday. It was only 15 days ago that they took him to the doctor with a cough and now he's gone. It's hard to understand why. I guess we will probably never know that answer. I was blessed to be able to travel to Amarillo over the weekend to attend Connor's funeral. It was the saddest, yet coolest funeral I have ever been to! Connor lived quite a life in his short 12 years here on earth. What a testimony to the God he loved so much! 

Please continue to remember Ron and Nan and their other two boys, Braden and Brennan in prayer. And give your kiddoes an extra hug and kiss tonight.